I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
