Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
