he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
