I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
