just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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