it wasn't lemon gatorade
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
