The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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