it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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