worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
