I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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