It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
