my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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