i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
