And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
