God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
