I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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