So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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