just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
