i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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