I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
