im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
