im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
