This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
