Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
