i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
