think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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