Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
