the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
