Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
