Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
