in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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