You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
