If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
