so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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