I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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