Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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