Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
