You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
