good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
