so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
