so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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