Dual....:-)
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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