The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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