I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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