I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
