it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize