grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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