Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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