hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
