You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
