i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
