There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Randomize
