i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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