I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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