I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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