i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
