you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
