I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
