who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
