dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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