its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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