I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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