But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
