You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
