So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
