Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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