Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
