so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
honey bunches of taint.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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